Dancer is a band from Glasgow. Their latest record, 10 Songs I Hate About You, will be out March 15 on Meritorio Records.
(Photo Credit: Anthony Gerace)
power on……pairing……right channel connected……left channel connected……device two connected. [Pulsing musical ident panning left to right. Voiceover (male, South-Eastern Regional Standard, Estuary English accent, fast pace) begins.] “Stay Connected with the Dancer Bluetooth Headset! Are you tired of tangled wires holding you back during your workouts or commutes? Say goodbye to limitations and hello to freedom with our”……pairing……right channel connected……left channel connected…….device three connected……
After a while, it more than slightly does your head in when you start to truly think about and unravel some of our many counter intuitive digital solutions, back end plug-ins, fixes and upgrades in our never ending attempt to evolve, we’re clutching at straws to invent something new to become more efficient. My issues with Bluetooth devices sit at the very precipice of the……pairing……right channel connected……left channel connected……device two connected……“Cutting-edge Bluetooth headset! Immerse yourself in your favorite podcasts, music, or audiobooks with crystal-clear”……pairing……right channel connected……left channel connected……device three connected……iceberg. I’m not a conspiracy theorist or technophobe, I’m excited by AI and digital technologies, especially in healthcare, however……pairing……right channel connected……left channel connected……device two connected……”sound quality and hassle-free connectivity. Whether you’re on a run, hitting the gym, or simply relaxing at home, the Dancer Bluetooth headset ensures uninterrupted listening pleasure.”……pairing……”Experience the convenience of hands-free calling and voice command activation, allowing you to stay connected while on the go”……battery low……“With long-lasting battery life and comfortable, ergonomic design, you can enjoy hours of uninterrupted entertainment”……pairing……right channel connected……left channel connected……device three connected……is it really progress to replace wired headphones with buds that run out of battery, lose connectivity in the middle of your favorite song or……pairing……right channel connected……left channel connected……device two connected……“without any discomfort. Don’t settle for mediocre audio experiences. Upgrade to the Dancer Bluetooth headset today and elevate your listening experience to a whole new level! Visit our website”……power low……”or your nearest retailer to get your hands on the ultimate wireless audio solution.” [Panning left to right, pulsing ident, celesta descending phrase to indicate finality.] “Stay connected, stay entertained — with the Dancer Blueto”……power off.
— Gemma Fleet
(Photo Credit: Anthony Gerace)
